Numb

     Paula

If it was not for those ass hates we would be celebrating our tenth wedding anniversary  next month. I still think of your each day and your in my thoughts everyday. Sometimes I wish it would have been whose was killed that day along your side at least we would be together for all time. The pain seems to get worse with time not better that does not make any sense but that appears to be how things our happening I'm not really sure why things are happening that way but that's how its happening.  I miss you and the life that we were going to plan together, Every women i date I feel dumb I feel like I go though the motions but i m not into it. I don't want to grow old alone and without anyone but I don't know how to make these feeling better. People I talk to don't get me they claim that they understand and maybe they do understand but I just don't know.  I'm sure they are being truthful but this numb feeling just appears to know. I have dated all kinds
of women and I still have this feeling why cant I feel that way that I use to. Baby just send me a sign somehow that you understand

Love you always