Paula

It's going on 7 years since they took you from me I see you every nite in my dreams on the good days on the bad days I see you and wake up in a cold sweat. Most dont understand what its like most stated they life moves on and it has moved on. Maybe I need to truely return to DIS to get closure on the matter.

I have avoided DIS for the reson that it would be too painful to go back to. However I just dont know what the answer is maybe its way to many factors that are involved in the matter. Maybe I truely dont want to fall for someone because I know we will be attacked again its just a matter of time and a matter for them to figure out what are weaknesses are. I know those in the agencies are working there asses off to prevent another attack but I also know that we can only be as good as the tools we are given and there are those who want to take those tools aways from us. Since they in some strange and different way never felt the attack the way that I did and others like me have felt the attack.

I have dated others its been a string of one night stands followed by failed relationships some were good others were a joke. At times I feel like my life is that of Jack Bauwer and you played the role of the one I love. Maybe I just need to find and kill the person responseable for your death and after that it will come to a close.

All I know is that I will always love you baby and I will see you one day but not soon

Mark