Things I Learned Being From Texas

Things I learned being from Texas

1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps
in the middle of the road.

2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and
4,998 of them live in Texas ..

3. There are 10,000 types of spiders.
All 10,000 of them live in Texas ..

4. If it grows, it'll stick ya.
If it crawls, it'll bite cha.

5. 'Onced' and 'Twiced' are words.

6. It is not a shopping cart, it's a buggy.

7. 'Jaw-P?' means,
'Did y'all go to the bathroom?

8. People actually grow and eat okra.

9. 'Fixinto' is one word.

10. There is no such thing as 'lunch.'
There is only dinner and then there is supper.

11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals, and
you start drinking it when you're two.
We do like a little tea with our sugar.

12. Backwards and forwards means,
'I know everything about you.'

13. The word 'jeet' is actually a phrase meaning,
'Did you eat ?'

14. You don't have to wear a watch, because it
doesn't matter what time it is.
You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH EM.

16. You measure distance in minutes.

17. You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.

18. All the festivals across the state are named
after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.

19. You know what a 'DAWG' is.

20. You carry jumper cables in your car ---
for your OWN car.

21. You only own five spices: salt, pepper,
Texas Pete, Tabasco and Ketchup.

22. The local papers cover national and international news
on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip
and high school football.

23. You think that the first day of deer season
is a national holiday.

24. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit 'a bit warm.'

25. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer,
still summer, and Christmas.

26. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past time known as
'goin' Wal-Martin' or 'off to Wally World.'

27. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees)
as good stew weather.

28. Fried catfish is the other white meat.

29. We don't need no dang driver's ed.
If our mama says we can drive,
we can drive, dag-nabbit.

30. You understand these jokes and forward them to
your Texas friends and those who just wish
they were from Texas .